The Onion Just Bought InfoWars

Just coming out of my cocoon of shock to find a delightful piece of news in The New York Times. The satirical site The Onion bought Alex Jones’ InfoWars. I am giggling in anticipation.

The Onion does not attempt to write news. So don’t believe it when they tell you

• “Trump Boys Have Slap Fight Over Who Gets To Run Foreign Policy Meetings” or

• “Oklahoma Law Requires Ten Commandments To Be Displayed In Every Womb” or

• “New Dating Site Suggests People You Already Know But Thought You Were Too Good For” or

• “HR Sends Out Reminder Email About Not Scrawling ‘Revenge’ In Blood In Conference Room”. (I found this one especially helpful. Maybe you will, too.)

We’re doing a pivot here at The Tell. Gone are the halcyon days of foreboding. Now it will be optimism, sarcasm and action!