You Can Hide a Lot Under a Ha-Ha-Ha

Humor As Disguise

I was at a party decades ago with a guy I just started dating. It was basically all his friends. At some point, he loudly announced that women should obey men. Out of nowhere. People emitted the predictable “ooooh” and “you’re in trouble now!” I said, “What?” He repeated himself. I went to the hostess of the party, asked if I could have my coat and if I could use her phone. I phoned a taxi and left. During this time, he kept repeating himself, loudly. I didn’t respond. I just left. I’ll never forget the look on the hostess’ face as she handed me my coat. It was almost blank with a dare as she facilitated my exit. In retrospect, she was probably wondering if I was actually going to go. Would I really follow through? I did.

There was another idiot I dated - very briefly - in college who wanted me to get up and get him a glass of water. …